I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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