How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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