Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
