Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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