i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
not ubering you a puppy
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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