i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize