I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
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He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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