Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
