i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize