Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
