I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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