I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
