I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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