Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
