oh god the rape fog is back!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
