I seem to have left my pride at pride
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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