Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
