So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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