Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
