so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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