someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize