You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
