did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
