ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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