Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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