Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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