Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
