i think i have two assholes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
