worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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