How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
