She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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