ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I am naked and annoyed.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
