i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
