U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
