guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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