That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
