Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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