Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
