On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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