someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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