Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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