just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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