Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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