I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
