I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
operation have a gay friend backfired
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
