My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
