East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
