he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
