I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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