In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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