I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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