Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
