Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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