I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
