Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
