Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
