Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize