obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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