haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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