That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
