so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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