That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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