well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
