Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
