dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
