Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
