he wants to bone in the snuggie
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize