i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
