Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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