nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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