I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
