I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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