At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize