booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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